Summer is almost here!

So, since my last post, I have applied to a few more jobs, which I didn't get. I have now decided that unless employment opens up for a COTA, I am going to go to college full-time and get my BS in Psychology. Yes, I've switched my major, but I've always liked Psychology. I've read much about human behavior (probably in an attempt to understand my own family) and I've really enjoyed learning about it. Granted, better understanding only leads to better acceptance, not the ability to change a person's behavior. So, that is all that I have to say about my current "job/career" ventures. I'm very excited about seeing Amber and Carlos. We will be visiting them in June and then Amber will visit us in July. I haven't seen them since Christmas and I think this is too long. I have throughly enjoyed living near Ashley. We got pedicures today, it was my gift for Mother's day. Amber gave me a most wonderful bath pillow for my new bathtub and a fun movie "Young Frankenstein". I love comedies and I don't think a person can laugh too much! I will update this blog sooner, since I have no school starting until June, yea!

Wow, it's March already!

I hadn't realized how old my last post was until today. Update life news is:
We moved to Silver City, it is beautiful but we are just now slowing down from the move and starting to enjoy it a bit.
I cannot find a job (as a COTA) ANYWHERE. It is depressing. I did get a temporary position as an administrative secretary, but it sounds more impressive then it is. I'm basically a warm body to answer phones, check the mail and take messages. My contract runs out March 30. I was told that they (whoever "they" are) will probably offer me an extension until the end of May, but it hasn't happened yet. I should get my BA no later then May 2013 and possibly as early as December 2012 if I'm full-time in school.

The director of the OTA program (Occupational Therapy Assistant) told me I would make a "great teacher" and asked me to apply for the Assitant Professor position for the two year program. It had previously been advertised with qualifications of a BA or MA to get the job. She said if I applied she would "re-advertise" it with different qualifications (a BA completed by July of 2013). So, I got my hopes up and applied, got letters of recommendations, wrote a statement of teaching theory. The whole shebang. I also spoke with the director of the MOT (Master of OT) Program, who has her PHd. She said would prefer someone like myself to get the job verses a new graduate because of my 16 years experience in Pediatrics and that pediatrics is exactly where they need an instructor. So, again, I continued to be excited about the prospect but I read this morning that the "re-advertisement" stated a BA or MA needed to be completed by September of 2012. Well, this leaves me out. It does open doors for new graduates.

So, I guess I will just keep plugging away at school and try to be very very thrifty with our finances. I'm not to hopeful of anything right now (job related). I am very happy to have our beautiful new home on the mountain, love being close to Ashley and I need to just relax and enjoy the things I DO have and get over my disappointment.

We are going to go to Washington in June and see Amber and Carlos! Looks like I will have time to plan our trip :)

Christmas was busy and enjoyable!

So, John, Ashley and myself wore Christmas gear and flashing lights to pick up Amber and Carlos at the airport. They flew in from Seattle for Christmas!
While in Silver City for Christmas, we found a house we like and have started the process to purchase it.

Since Christmas, we found a house, sold our house, packed and moved to Silver City. We are in temporary housing until the close on the house in Silver city, which we hope will happen within two weeks now. I have began job hunting and my college classes began last week (during packing and moving of course). John will begin working out of a new office location and with new people, so this is a change for him in addition to moving.

We met the owner of the home we are purchasing and she is so sweet! She said the neighbors want to invite us over for dinner to welcome us and also to "send" her off. People here, have been very nice, which has decreased the stress level tremendously.

Amber and Carlos have been in Abu Dabi (spelt wrong), India and Dubai and won't be back until the 18th, so I'm glad we've been busy. I don't want to think about them being halfway around the world. I'm just happy they are getting to do something they have wanted to do. They are crossing off their bucket list LOL.

Last day of work

So, today was my last day of work. Well, I called in sick today, but I was honest. I didn't say I was sick. I told them I didn't have any thing left to do and that since I'm only getting $10 per day for any sick days I haven't used, it was more beneficial for me to call in then to work.

I was really sad, but this week I've been much more happy about quitting my job. I can only take one day at a time and I absolutely wasn't going to go any further in my job without an increase in degree status.

I was already paid on the BA degree scale, so when I had attain my BA I wouldn't have gotten any pay increase. I was also at the top of the scale for steps in "years of employment" so I couldn't get any more raises from that. I was also employed as an OT Assistant, which means I can't EVER get any MORE responsibility. As an assistant I'm not allowed to do assessments, program planning, treatment planning, advocacy, nor can I get certified or specialized in ANY areas of OT because I'm the Assistant and not the therapist. This would be fine if I didn't have 16 years of experience and past OT therapists who supervised me had me do the previous tasks because I had the skills and they utilized my experience. As an assistant, if I get a new OT supervisor, it doesn't matter how much experience they have or that I have, I'm still an assistant and my hands are tied as to what I can do to help the kids/patients.
If I was the OT I would be servicing more kids in the schools. Yes, I fully understand the funding and legalities of OT ancillary services, but I also know that OT should be giving in-service trainings so the kids don't have to be "failing" before the teacher or staff know what to do to help the kids. We can be part of the intervention plans for all children with disabilities, not just the ones in SPED.

So, I'm happy to be quitting and moving onto (I hope) a new place of employment, education and to experience opportunities to grow professionally and from within.

New stuff, all the time.

So, Amber and Carlos are in Washington state and are enjoying the beautiful surroundings. For a couple of years now, John and I have wanted to live closer to our daughters. At the time we first begin thinking about it, John didn't want to live in Las Cruces (where Amber and Carlos were) because he felt the city was too large and he liked the idea of living in the mountains, so we chose to eventually move to Silver City, which would have been about 1.75 hours from Amber and Carlos, but much closer then we are now.
Well, of course Amber and Carlos don't live there now.
The original plan was for me to find a job in Silver and for John to retire afterward, however a week before Thanksgiving, John applied for a position (with the same job) in a small town within driving distance to Silver. Last Monday, yep four days after he applied, we heard he got the position.

We are now moving to Silver. Yeah! Yeah to live close to Ashley, Yeah about the beautiful mountains, Yeah about quitting my job!
But I applied this last week at there are NO jobs for a COTA in Silver. This is pretty stressful to me, I've worked for 16 years as a COTA and as a divisional manager before that. This also cuts our income in half. This totally stresses me so, I've been focusing on the fact that I (Yeah) can go to school full-time this semester.
We also have found that housing in Silver is about 25 to 50% more then here, so, we won't be able to afford a house that isn't pretty old because 1. It cost more, 2. I'm unemployed and can't contribute to the income.
But Yeah about the move. I'd rather move then not. I love going to school full-time even if it means eating beans for a few years until I can get my BA and MA.
I again, must put my faith in God and be happy he has gave us this opportunity to be closer to Ashley (We plan on visits to see Amber as much as we can).

Endless changes

Well, the biggest change is that my daughter Amber and her husband Carlos are moving to Washington state. That is very good, and yet very sad. Carlos had difficulty getting a job here in New Mexico. I so very much wish he was able to get something here, but the good news is that the job he did get is a wonderful job and a wonderful opportunity for him. I realize that Amber and Carlos are the kids we get to see the most. Amber had weekends off and so it was easier for them to come here or us to go there. They were the inspiration for us to try many new cool foods, yummy deserts, great beers, wines, music, swimming, and camping, to name a few. So, their company, on a regular basis (every month or two months) will be missed. However; in all the sadness on my part, we have great joy as well. They will love the beauty of Washington and we will have a great place to go for vacations haha!

The other changes are: I changed my major, I am attempting to get my BA as a Rehabiliationist Specialist, I have a new office on my job (start this Monday), I'm am officially in menopause LOL, I just finished my summer classes,I expect to get A's due to the points I've gotten so far, but I will have to wait and see. So, no more changes for now. I will be saving my money to visit Washington state now :) I hope to see it often!

Wow, I really need to reformat this blog LOL

Wow I need to update this blog. My pictures are old and I haven't changed the background for a while.

So, I went to an immunologist who gave me an actual name of the diagnoses he thinks I have, regarding my immune system. It is called hypocomplementic vasculitis, well at these this is the short version LOL. He can't confirm 100% until I get a purpura rash and they biopsy it. So, I get a rash approximately once a month to one every 6 months so it may be awhile. I'm just glad to find someone who says my test results match something LOL.
Ash had her birthday at our house, I will post pictures another time. I really enjoyed Amber/Carlos and Ashley/Gabe visits. I want to live closer to them so bad. One of the reason's I'm getting a bachelors degree is so I will have options for employment so I can leave Carlsbad and move closer to the kids.
People tease me and say that then the kids will move away LOL. Well, if they do, then they do, but if I could have even one year living in the same town or close enough we could do lunch or nails or shop or have dinner more then once every 3 to 6months, then it would have been worth the move.

Mom continues to be oxycontin free. This is a great thing. She is now back to her mouthy ways, but so far she has apologized when she gets that way, so I'd rather see her mouthy then messed up cognitively due to drug use.
She has no memory of all the stuff she did (or David) or anything about the oxy problems. Even the financial problems. This is a little discerning because she can't learn from anything when she doesn't recall anything. Oh well, nothing is ever normal with her and at least she is independant and thinking clearly now. She has also admitted to having diabetes and she takes her pill regularly and tests her blood daily. At least she believes that this medical advice is good :)
She has also lost her teeth and has hinted to me and others several times how she wants/needs more. I do feel for her though, but she has had two pair already.
Anyway, Life for me is busy but good right now.

The Lord has Been so good to me

I am now doing well. I had a stress test done and a nuclear scan of my heart done. The results were great. I was told I was in better than average shape for someone my age, yeah! I suppose working out at the gym before I got sick paid off LOL. The Dr. said the mitral valve regurtitation won't go away, but unless it gets worse I am to live my life without restrictions. The Dr. will monitor me and I am to have an echocardiogram every 6 months.
Regarding the autoimmune problem. I am suppose to go to an immunologist in March. I really don't want to go because I feel so good right now. I don't want to be given medicine that makes me feel bad, but I promised my primary care Dr I would go so I will.
I am feeling good now and Jesus was there for me and continues to be there for me. This is all I know.
My mom is doing great! I can hardly believe the change in her. She is taking her diabetes pill regularly, which is very important. She is also off all narcotics. Her mind is sharp again and she is demonstrating independants in all daily living skills including her finances. I think when she prayed for me, God must have helped her. It's like I have the mom I used to have many years ago, but she is sweeter LOL. Anyway, I give thanks to God and everyone who was so supportive and sweet when I was sick. Especially my husband who was with me from breakfast to bedtime everyday. Thank you.

Health update

So, I've been out of the hospital since Jan 20. My mitral valve regurgitation is what they term as "moderate". I'm scheduled to have a stress test and nuclear dye pictures taken this month. Feb 21 I will see the cardiologist and hear the results. As far as I know, this will be a "monitor" problem. I don't know yet if the monitor will be every 6 months or yearly. I am finally starting to have some energy and I've recently have been able to breathe freely without any chest discomfort. Last Monday I broke out in a Purpura rash all over my legs, which my Dr says is an autoimmune reaction to ? So, Even though I was feeling good, I guess my immune system didn't think I was good LOL. So I stayed home and rested Tuesday.
Everyone has been so sweet to me.
I missed work on Tuesday and had snow days on Wed, Thurs and today (Friday). I'm off the weekend, so I've been blessed with many days to further recuperate. Now I feel great! I hope this continues. I need to begin working out again, I'm losing muscle tone :( Anyway, I'm ready for my life to become routine again. :)

Still in hospital but good news

So, I'm still in the hospital but not having Congestive Heart Failure any more. Most of the fluid from my lungs and heart has been removed. I can breathe better and my heart is beating good. I had an echocardiogram done yesterday. The Dr. says that it shows good heart muscle and pumping action. It also shows a mitral valve regurtitation. This mitral valve problem may have been there for awhile, they don't know. Either way, the Dr. says that with the exeption of the valve I have a healthy heart in all four chambers, YEAH!
Tomorrow morning they will do a esophageal echocardiogram to see more details of my valve. This will help them decide if it is a "wait and monitor" problem or a "needs repair/replacement" problem.
After this is over, I can go home and try the rest of my recuperation from pneumonia and the whole mess. So, I think God let this happen to find my valve problem. I had attempted to get my other Drs (gyn and primary) to check my heart, but they kept saying I didn't a good enough reason for checking it. I had a "gut" reason for a few years now. So, I'm glad to have found the problem, so we can fix it and move on with life. The lord Jesus has always taken care of me and I thank him so much for continuing to do so.

Writing from the Hospital

So, I'm writing from the hospital. I've had one heck of a week. Last Tuesday I became very ill and Wednesday morning decided I needed to go to the emergency room. They admitted me for pneumonia. On Thursday, while in the hospital I find out that my blood cultures reveal blood poisoning (Sepsis) of the bacteria that had infected my lung. I was given high doses of strong antibiotic called Levequil or something like that along with another one, which I don't remember the name of, but it made my head itch badly. I was told basically that the itch was worth the cure, so I took it. On Friday, I began bloating really badly. I told the nurse about it and she shook it off and told me it was a side affect of the meds. I was nausaus as well, again, told side affects. I asked if he was going to do any xrays before I left and he said no.This continued thru Saturday. When the Dr. came in to Discharge me I told him. He said, side affect and to take some antacid. I went home. I began to improve with the pneumonia and fever, but continued to bloat. By Monday morning I noticed that even my legs and feet were bloated. I had tried on some of my pants on Saturday and couldn't even get them around my butt. Monday morning I weighed myself. I had gained 22 pounds in only 5 days. Not Good. So, after several calls to Dr offices who didn't open on MLK day, I went to the emergency room.

Now here I am, admitted with Congestive Heart Failure. Wow, I can hardly believe it. Part of me wants to cry and be so sad about the prospect of a possible earlier demise then what I ever thought I'd have. Another part of me wants to say, well at least we know and now lets find a cure. So, I'm going with the second part of me. I will eventually die anyway, we all do, so I get a chance of preventing mine for a bit by finding the cause and following the treatment. At least I didn't have a heart attack out of the blue and just die. So, that is all I want to write for now. I'm getting a bit tired. Of course the whole time I was writing I didn't have one interruption from hospital staff. They are waiting for me to attempt a nap. Which is what I'm going to do. Later.

So, I realize I haven't updated my blog in a while. First, my Bone marrow biopsy was good, meaning I don't have anything that is diagnosable. This is good because I don't have anything too serious right now. The doctor said my results were "interesting" LOL. Anyway, long story short is that the parts which were abnormal were areas which can be abnormal for either an autoimmune/inflammatory disorder or a mild pre-leukemia. So, I am still a lab rat :) The oncologist wants the rheumatologist to rule out autoimmune and after I seen the rheumatologist (Dec 21) he has wanted the biopsy to rule out pre-leukemia prior to treatment for autoimmune disorder. So, from both Doctors it is a monitor and see what happens down the road. If I begin to get worse as months/years go by then whatever surfaces, that is what I will be treated for. Meanwhile I take anti-infammatories for an achiness and take good care of myself so my immune system doesn't have to react to itself. The end.

Now, for life update. Christmas was very good, but we missed Amber and Carlos. This was the first year that Amber spent away from us at Christmas (now that Carlos and she are married then in-laws get a turn), which is fine, such is life. We had a wonderful time in Silver City with Ashley and her boyfriend Gabe. Thanksgiving was spent at Ashley's in Silver City(due to the convenience of travel for Amber and Ashley and days off). Next year, I have no idea where we will be for Thanksgiving, but John insists that we aren't "going anywhere" for Christmas. I think he got tired of traveling so much. We had went to the trainings for the Chrysalis in Oct, Nov, then Thanksgiving, then Dec, then Albuq, then Christmas to Silver. I really would love to stay home for Christmas, but I don't want to be alone with just the two of us. So, I hope next year the kids can travel to see us or I will be very sad at Christmas time.
I'm going to be taking a math class (online) this spring. It starts in two weeks. I hope I can do it. I haven't had math in about two years and it was basic algebra then. This class sounds like fun. It is Math Appreciation and it has problems in it like I used to do for fun in the brain books (logic puzzles, etc). I really like math, but I don't know all the mathematical terms and reading a word problem without knowing all the terms and procedures can be intimidating especially when it is online and your teaching yourself LOL. Oh well. My resolution for the new new year is #1 Get through it with my sanity in tact LOL and #2 Maintain my current weight loss.

Good News, finally :)

So, enough negative family crap.
I'm going to be working a Chrysalis Journey with Amber this January. This is similar to a "spiritual renewing/retreat" for youth ages 15 to 24 (or 25)I'm really excited about it. It will be extremely tiring, but it will be worth the effort. I was asked to do an inspirational type of talk at the Journey. I have found that preparing for the talk has helped support me in my own personal spriritual needs. I'm looking forward to Halloween and deciding on a costume to wear. My music class, which has been extremely busy, is now slowing down (thank God LOL). I'm passing the history class and my job is going well. I have no complaints and I'm so greatful that my kids and their husbands/boyfriends are all doing well.
I had a Bone Marrow Biopsy done last Friday and will get the results on Oct 27. It wasn't nearly as bad as I had pictured in my head, which is a good thing. I did start to lose consciousness because my blood pressure fell to low, but all ended up good. I'm really not worried about the results at all. I'm pretty positive I don't have anything major going on and I'm hopeful they can tell me what I do have going on. If they can't find anything,then at least I know I don't have a major illness, just some type of inflammation disorder. Life is good.

Crazy Family

I have decided that with the exception of a select few (you know who you are) that my family is totally and completely insane. They run their lives purely on emotional responses. They don't take responsibility for their actions and expect others to "help" them out when they choose to live their lives selfishly with no consideration for others and then they end up screwing up. I have great difficulty believing and accepting how some people make the crazy, yes CRAZY, decisions they make. I understand all the psychology behind their actions, but not the logic. I also am tired of people calling the "Fajardo" bank every time they make a bad decisions then getting pissed at us because we didn't bail them out. People need to be responsible for their own lives. Family member's should help each other if emergencies happen, but not because a bad decision was made (drinking, drugs, rash spending) It is so, so sad. I really miss being a young, naive, person who seen only the good in family, having great times singing, playing games, cooking out, laughing. I so very much miss that part of my family. I miss that family so so much!

Busy, busy, busy.

Well, my mom left yesterday to visit my little brother in Florida. She and her husband appear to be taking control of their lives and this has relieved me of much stress. Nothing has changed regarding her problems, but it is a good thing for people to take responsibility for their own lives. So, regarding busy busy busy.
I'm taking two college classes this fall. This normally would be no problem for me, except I'm working and this basic "music 101" is so darn busy. I have a 2-3 chapter test or written report due every week. This is in addition to the twice a week classes. I'm also taking a European History class, but this one is online and no assignments (yea!) I just read the book, watch slide shows and take the tests. Now, this should be very easy to do, except that I'm working fulltime. So, it is all ok, but I'm tired of my every mement being school work LOL. In the meantime though, I'm quite satisified with myself for both my grades and my effort to continue my education. I do have a bowling league once a week, which is quite fun, so I get a little break. I've also been quite healthy and feeling better, so that is good :) That is all. Off I go to study again :)

oops, here are more pics

Camping Pics

Camping with Loved ones

Last weekend, my husband and I, Amber and Carlos, Ashley and Gabe all went camping. It was wonderful. There is no phone service up at the top of the mountain where we were. It was green, beautiful, fresh and fun! My daughter's always have a way of making me laugh and that Friday while sitting around the camp fire I laughed so hard I cried. To this day I still don't remember what I even laughed at, but I know it felt wonderful! On Friday night we roasted wieners over a camp fire, visited and laughed. On Saturday, we made breakfast burritos of sausage, potato, egg, green chilie and cheese, cooked fresh outdoors. We fished in a small lake, which is on the indian reservation where we camped. Ash, caught the first fish, Gabe the second and Carlos the last and longest. This was Carlos' first time to ever catch a fish as well as Ashley's. That evening we made "foil" dinners, buffet style and cooked the "catches of the day" in foil on the camp fire. Later in the evening we roasted marshmellows and again laughed and relaxed. Sunday we had outdoor cooked blueberry pancakes and bacon. At lunch, Amber and Carlos made chicken salad sandwiches. They were delicious. We then packed up and headed back home. I wish I could have stayed up there another week, it was so lovely. I will attempt to put some pics on here to view.

Life as Is

Well, my family's visit came and went. They are really cool family members and we really enjoyed the kids.
From the date of July 28th to the date of Aug 29 My husband and I had attempted, with my mom's permission, to regulate, as per dosed by Dr, my mom's perscription medications. We did this because for the past three years she has been giving her meds to her husband David (or he was taking them, either way). Well, her last monthly prescription was filled on Thursday Aug 26th (two days early from expected date of 30 days apart). She said we could help with the daily dosing again so she wouldn't run out early due to David, etc; however upon us recieving the bottles of meds the evening of the 26th, she had already removed 30:180 percocet pills and 5:90 oxycontin pills. The morning she recieved her prescription (Aug 26th) my husband and I gave her the last of her normal prescription dosage. That Friday, we left for Ruidoso and left her three days dosage (Friday, Sat, Sun) in individual plastic daily dosage containers which stated the time of day and day of dosage. The dosage was three oxycontin per day and 6 percocet per day. She called 7 times on Sunday, when we were out of town and phone range, and stated we didn't give her enough meds and that "how could we do her this way" and that she didn't want us to control her meds/dosing any longer. So, on Monday, John took her all her pills and told her to not call us when she runs out and also not to call us for help with money if it is because she had to pay cash for her meds due to Dr. hopping for extra meds during the month (she had been Dr. hopping and getting extra meds for three months prior to our taking over dosaging).
Well, now it appears, she has told family members we said we didn't want her to call us "ever again" and that we won't help her with "anything". This isn't the case. Both she and her husband are drug addicts and are dependant and codependant upon each other.
This has been extremely sad for me, as I see my mom slowly dying and her relationship to David being the reason for her early demise. I have been too too stressed by her problems and as much as I love her, I MUST separate myself from this situation. FYI, I did try to call her to rectofy the situation last Tuesday but whoever picked up the phone hang up on me. My husband John also tried to call last Wed and someone hang up on him too. I'm really sad that this came to this, but Drug addition is SOOOO bad and it obviously changes a person. Mom only cares about herself and David and has no gratefulness for all we have done for her. It is sad that she will probably die like this and there is nothing I can do to save her. It is so so sad.